Beijing does not night people

 Beijing does not night people
late at night, I still can not sleep, sitting alone in the dormitory of international preparatory school. In fact, I'm sleepy, but do not know why I can not sleep. What makes me so trance ? in the end I think I have been in how I tried to think to find the source of my insomnia.
yesterday and saw the stray dogs, I thought I found the reason I constantly depressed, and that is because I have too moved a long absence. but now I sleep again, but that I could lose more than just I am completely ignorant in the circumstances. I in the end how it? how could suddenly lose the focus of my life? how would suddenly lose myself?
any day during the day I have been crazy busy, and even I forget to think. But why when I came into the night completely immersed in being bored? a lot of people look at my life, that enrich my life in particular, who I think so, but now it seems I'm not sure, and it seems I am full time only during the day, and the more accurate point about the time of day may not be full, may be the most busy, it is full of a false best approach. I know my life is a problem, but I can not really find my life Where is a problem.
I remember from September 2003 until now has been in Beijing for 2 years 9 months time. During this time I got so much I never envisioned so-called ; no return success, when success seemed to me I always keep your focus on the next immediate goal, in my crazy pursuit of the race except when I while I did not seem to pay attention, so I ignored the life I did more things should not go ignored. Today, I lost my, is it retribution for my life? I believe in reincarnation, but I also believe that all the causal front. I firmly believe that my position today, a series of long-term I ignored the events are accumulated to a certain extent, it broke out.
God, Amen, Amitabha please give me an indication, please tell me what went wrong in the end is